Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.

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(720): View more from Colorado

He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.

(907): View more from Alaska

I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.

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(914): View more from New York

Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".

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(954): View more from Florida

tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something

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