i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
