There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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