We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Randomize
