I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
