went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
