its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
