i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
