In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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