I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
