Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
