I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
