sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
