I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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