so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
