good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
