Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
