We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
where are you?
Hypothermia
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
