I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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