She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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