Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
