Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
