how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
