everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Randomize
