omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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