I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
