I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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