i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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