ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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