Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
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