Where is the hickey?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
