i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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