i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
