Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
