there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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