JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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