Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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