Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
