Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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