What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
