Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
