His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
