I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My vagina just recognized that song.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
