A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
