I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Two words: nipple clamps
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