I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
