I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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