she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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