And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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