this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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