This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
