Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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